Maximizing Seduction Skills While Minimizing Crash and Burn
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I have been in the game for years, I actually started acumulating Pick-Up oriented materials when I was just a kid of 14 or 15 (I'm 38 years old now... do the math).
In that time, Ive seen, and heard some of the most absolute crap you can imagine.
I have been in the game for years, I actually started acumulating Pick-Up oriented materials when I was just a kid of 14 or 15 (I'm 38 years old now... do the math).
In that time, Ive seen, and heard some of the most absolute crap you can imagine.
I've also learned some pure gold nuggets and alot of it through the current Pick-Up Gurus of today. Im also a very experienced teacher and practitioner of other "Mind and Body" oriented skills, NLP, HYPNOSIS etc. so I'm not exactly naive.
The First thing most folks have to do in order to be really good at seduction is also one of the hardest...
Slow Down!
Everyone wants to get out there and mystically and magically hit every HB they can with the Kitchen sink trying to make them levitate naked into their bed screaming in exctasy.
Everyone comes into the game with different aptitudes, skill sets and inner game issues that need to be dealt with.
Now, Inner Game stuff aside, it's important to remember that what your doing is LEARNING a new set of skills. Aquiring new skills also requires a methodology whereby you can gauge your progress and a give yourself a road map from point A to point Z.
Make sense?
Good, I thought so too...
Now, the first problem, like I mentioned, is that people try to move faster than the skill sets they have internalized allow... consequently, this leads to a lot higher ratio of crash and burns (and consequent blows to self esteem, self image, and self confidence) than may in fact be necessary.
The other is NOT having a clearly defined map or strategy to where you want to go.
The First thing most folks have to do in order to be really good at seduction is also one of the hardest...
Slow Down!
Everyone wants to get out there and mystically and magically hit every HB they can with the Kitchen sink trying to make them levitate naked into their bed screaming in exctasy.
Everyone comes into the game with different aptitudes, skill sets and inner game issues that need to be dealt with.
Now, Inner Game stuff aside, it's important to remember that what your doing is LEARNING a new set of skills. Aquiring new skills also requires a methodology whereby you can gauge your progress and a give yourself a road map from point A to point Z.
Make sense?
Good, I thought so too...
Now, the first problem, like I mentioned, is that people try to move faster than the skill sets they have internalized allow... consequently, this leads to a lot higher ratio of crash and burns (and consequent blows to self esteem, self image, and self confidence) than may in fact be necessary.
The other is NOT having a clearly defined map or strategy to where you want to go.
Lets deal with that first shall we?
The first step you have to take, is understanding a concept I learned from a rather famous trainer (infamous in some circles) it's called "segment intending."
The concept behind segmenting your intention is simply to identify, in as small a chunk as possible, exactly what it is your trying to accomplish and make sure you accomplish that one objective before moving on to the next.
Lets take a look at the Pick-Up Process for example.
The first step you have to take, is understanding a concept I learned from a rather famous trainer (infamous in some circles) it's called "segment intending."
The concept behind segmenting your intention is simply to identify, in as small a chunk as possible, exactly what it is your trying to accomplish and make sure you accomplish that one objective before moving on to the next.
Lets take a look at the Pick-Up Process for example.
Whats the overall outcome? (thats a big chunk intention by the way)
For most of us, getting laid is somewhere near the top so we will start there.
Now, the next thing you would have to ask yourself is
For most of us, getting laid is somewhere near the top so we will start there.
Now, the next thing you would have to ask yourself is
"what exactly is necessary for me to get laid?"
Well you would probably have to get a Hot Babe nice and horny (i.e. buying temperature) right? Now, in order for that to happen what would have to come right before it?
Right before that?
Right before that?
Get it?
Continue the process of working backward until you have a clearly defined series of steps. Starting with the goal you chose, and then begin working back in sequential micro steps to the very first thing you would have to accomplish in order to initiate that sequence from the very beginning; with the outcome being the automatic attainment of your goal (i.e. moist relief!).
Now remember alot of the steps in your segment intending will in fact be contingent upon what ever system or combination of Pick-Up systems your using ,but that doesn't preclude having to include the acquisition of certain skill sets into your repetoire of tools.
That's part of the process and really to me sounds like utter common sense, but for some it may be new and may in fact help you design and modify what you already know to be more effective because the process allows you to become more aware of things your missing.
Now, the above mentioned exercise is one that translates into the aquisition of just about any objective.
We are talking about Skill aquisition.
Get it?
Continue the process of working backward until you have a clearly defined series of steps. Starting with the goal you chose, and then begin working back in sequential micro steps to the very first thing you would have to accomplish in order to initiate that sequence from the very beginning; with the outcome being the automatic attainment of your goal (i.e. moist relief!).
Now remember alot of the steps in your segment intending will in fact be contingent upon what ever system or combination of Pick-Up systems your using ,but that doesn't preclude having to include the acquisition of certain skill sets into your repetoire of tools.
That's part of the process and really to me sounds like utter common sense, but for some it may be new and may in fact help you design and modify what you already know to be more effective because the process allows you to become more aware of things your missing.
Now, the above mentioned exercise is one that translates into the aquisition of just about any objective.
We are talking about Skill aquisition.
Lets face it, we all wanna hit a home run the first time out.
Our unconcious mind tends to perpetuate the behaviors and actions that give us the most protection and/or pleasure, and, given no other instructions your unconcious mind will continue to do exactly what it has always done before that, time and time again, so unless your already highly successful with women, you probably don't want your unconscious mind running its default program.
Your unconscious mind learns best in small chunks, repeated over time with positive feedback reinforcing the behavior.
Remember, big successes are made bunches of little ones!
Your unconscious mind learns best in small chunks, repeated over time with positive feedback reinforcing the behavior.
Remember, big successes are made bunches of little ones!
Kind of like making sure all the steps are done right in a math equation ultimately yields a correct answer, that concept works the same way with other skills as well.
So in order to minimize your crashes and burns,while building up your successes, you need to make your practice more "segmented."
So in order to minimize your crashes and burns,while building up your successes, you need to make your practice more "segmented."
If your doing an Neuro-Linguistic Programing based system and you wanna run patterns, its almost impossible to do if you can't even walk up to a woman and make and keep positive eye contact.
By the same token if you wanna work groups in clubs, you can't really open a set if you can't approach, or you dont have the requisite openers readily prepared, can you?
So naturally the first step you would do before even initiating a pattern would be to actualy just walk up to a someone and say "Hi" while keeping positive eye contact.
Thats it! NO MORE!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! FEEL GOOD!
Small chunk assimilated, really easy to do.
When your confident enough with that, add one more small chunk. Lets say your having trouble with even doing that, then its time to chunk down to an even smaller easily attainable segment intention. Instead of doing an actual walk up, practice getting good eye contact from people you know, people you walk past etc.
Keep doing that until you can hold a steady gaze, once you can hold a steady gaze (not staring, mind you, that creeps people out and can get you in a nasty fight if your not too careful) then add just one more thing to the drill... a smile.
Seems like really micro managing doesnt it?
BUT
By the same token if you wanna work groups in clubs, you can't really open a set if you can't approach, or you dont have the requisite openers readily prepared, can you?
So naturally the first step you would do before even initiating a pattern would be to actualy just walk up to a someone and say "Hi" while keeping positive eye contact.
Thats it! NO MORE!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! FEEL GOOD!
Small chunk assimilated, really easy to do.
When your confident enough with that, add one more small chunk. Lets say your having trouble with even doing that, then its time to chunk down to an even smaller easily attainable segment intention. Instead of doing an actual walk up, practice getting good eye contact from people you know, people you walk past etc.
Keep doing that until you can hold a steady gaze, once you can hold a steady gaze (not staring, mind you, that creeps people out and can get you in a nasty fight if your not too careful) then add just one more thing to the drill... a smile.
Seems like really micro managing doesnt it?
BUT
Guess what...
each easily digestible chunk builds your confidence, reinforces and integrates your micro behaviors at the unconcious level (where you really need them,) boosts your self esteem, and enhances your congruency. At the same time your rehearsing success after success, and getting positive feedback at the same time, which allows you to naturally feel like your accomplishing something and that creates the tendency to perpetuate continued practice.
Sounds like a good time to me!
One of the first things that trips newbies up is trying to do too much too fast.
Sounds like a good time to me!
One of the first things that trips newbies up is trying to do too much too fast.
Sometimes the slower approach IS the faster approach.
Now, once you have the hang of chunking down and digesting each step before you go on to the next, your learning process starts to become very systematic in the way you can begin to add just one more chunk to your existing sequence of skills. As a result you will naturally find yourself working steadily through the 4 stages of learning.
Now, once you have the hang of chunking down and digesting each step before you go on to the next, your learning process starts to become very systematic in the way you can begin to add just one more chunk to your existing sequence of skills. As a result you will naturally find yourself working steadily through the 4 stages of learning.
- Unconcious incompetence
- Concious incompetence
- Concsious Competence
- Unconcious Competence
And the successes will in fact come much faster than you might expect.
Seductively Yours,
MasterClass
posted by David at
9/22/2006 11:55:00 AM
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